SUPERVISORS TO REHAB TEENS FOR CRIME OF... BEING TEENS?

The esteemed Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors, in their infinite wisdom, has decided that the biggest threat to our youth isn't TikTok brain rot or declining academic standards, but rather, the potential for an 'early intervention' opportunity missed. That's right, folks, the Board just approved a tidy $65,656 handout to the Santa Maria Joint Union High School District, not for, say, better textbooks or vocational training, but to expand their 'Alcohol and Drug Program: Early Intervention Services and Substance Use Disorder Treatment Services.' Because nothing says 'forward-thinking' like treating teenagers as pre-criminal drug addicts, just waiting to happen.

One has to wonder what exactly constitutes 'early intervention' in this brave new world. Are we talking about a kid who looked at a soda can too long? Or perhaps one who dared to question the progressive curriculum? It sounds suspiciously like a classic case of a government program creating its own demand, turning normal teenage angst into a billable 'disorder.' And naturally, the Board, ever vigilant about the environment, declared this whole endeavor exempt from CEQA. Because nothing impacts the environment less than indoctrinating young minds with state-mandated therapy, right?

This isn't about helping kids; it's about expanding the administrative state's reach into every facet of private life, and finding new ways to spend taxpayer money under the guise of 'wellness.' With President Trump working tirelessly to cut red tape and promote individual liberty, it seems our local bureaucrats are doubling down, ensuring they have a captive audience of 'at-risk' youth to justify their ever-growing budgets. Perhaps instead of more programs, we should try some common sense and parental guidance, but that wouldn't require a six-figure contract, would it?