SUPERVISORS INK DEAL TO WATCH WATER RUN DOWNHILL, DECLARE IT 'GREEN'

The Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors, acting as the 'Flood Control and Water Conservation District' (because titles make everything sound important), just approved a Joint Funding Agreement to keep an eye on our streams for another year. For a cool $452,450, of which a hefty $349,830 comes directly from the Flood Control District – which, by the way, is your money – they’ve hired the United States Geological Survey to continue what they call the 'Cooperative Stream Gauging Program.' Translation: paying federal bureaucrats to measure how wet the ground is.

But here’s the real kicker, the kind of bureaucratic double-speak only our local 'leaders' can conjure. They've officially declared this act of basic data collection 'exempt from the requirements of the California Environmental Quality Act (CEQA).' Why? Because it’s 'basic data collection, research, experimental management, and resources evaluation activities.' Apparently, simply *looking* at water is so environmentally groundbreaking, it doesn’t even need an environmental review. One has to wonder, if watching water run is so 'green' it sidesteps CEQA, imagine the carbon footprint of actively *doing* something.

This isn't about flood control; it's about control, period. It's about funneling taxpayer dollars to federal agencies while simultaneously granting themselves an environmental pass for doing what amounts to checking the weather. What story are they missing? The story of fiscal responsibility, perhaps? Or the unspoken truth that half a million dollars could actually *build* something, rather than just endlessly *measure* something? But then, building things usually involves private enterprise, and we can’t have that when there are perfectly good federal coffers to dip into.

The Whipping Post hears whispers that the Supervisors are already planning next year’s budget for 'Advanced Cloud Observation Studies' and potentially even 'Sunlight Monitoring Initiatives,' all conveniently exempt from pesky environmental regulations. It seems when it comes to spending your money on consultants and committees, the 'environmental protection' crowd has perfected the art of making it rain… on their own parade. Just don’t ask them to actually build a reservoir or, you know, a dam.