SUPERVISORS HOOKED ON DOCUMENTARY DONUTS, NOT FISH! $29K FOR... FILMS?

Your perpetually bewildered Board of Supervisors, in their infinite wisdom and apparent disdain for actually serving the taxpayers, decided last week to drop a cool $29,000 of your hard-earned cash on a 'grant' to Blue Ocean Productions. Forget, for a moment, that this largesse comes from the 'Fish and Wildlife Fund,' a pot of money ostensibly set aside to, you know, help actual fish and wildlife. Instead, the esteemed members of the Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors seem to believe that the best way to protect our delicate ecosystems is to fund another artsy-fartsy documentary.

Yes, you read that right. While local fishermen struggle with burdensome regulations and actual wildlife endures the consequences of Sacramento's endless, pointless directives, our Supervisors are busy approving budget revisions to 'increase appropriations' for 'services and supplies' to a production company. One can only imagine the vital, non-CEQA-exempt 'services and supplies' involved in making a nature film – perhaps artisanal coffee and kale smoothies for the crew, or maybe special interpretive dance workshops for the director.

It truly makes you wonder what kind of environmental catastrophe this cinematic masterpiece is meant to avert. Will a particularly stirring zoom shot save a steelhead? Will a dramatic voice-over prevent a rare bird from going extinct? Or is this just another thinly veiled handout, dressed in feel-good progressive garb, designed to funnel public money towards well-connected 'creatives' while the real environmental issues get another glossy, expensive distraction? The Whipping Post suspects it's the latter.

While the Supervisors rubber-stamped this expenditure with a four-fifths vote (meaning only one brave soul likely questioned the wisdom of this fiscal folly), perhaps they should consider a new film project: 'The Decline and Fall of Local Government: A Taxpayer's Lament.' It promises to be a far more compelling, albeit tragic, narrative than whatever Blue Ocean Productions cooks up with your $29,000.