SUPERVISORS APPOINT 'LITTLE GUY' TO PLANNING COMMISSION; EXPECT BIG HEADACHES

Well, bless our civic-minded hearts. The Lompoc Record, bless their diligent little cotton socks, has informed us that Fourth District Supervisor Bob Nelson has tapped Orcutt resident Tony Guy for the Santa Barbara County Planning Commission. Mr. Guy, a former aerospace consultant and current bigwig on the Santa Maria Public Airport District Board, is apparently ready to dive into the thrilling world of zoning, permits, and endless environmental impact reports. We’re sure his aerospace precision will be a huge asset when navigating the planning department’s Byzantine forms, which likely rival the instruction manual for a space shuttle.

Now, Mr. Guy seems like a perfectly decent fellow, and we commend him for stepping up. But he's about to enter a realm where 'progress' is a four-letter word and 'streamlined' is a myth whispered in hushed tones by former developers. The Planning Commission, bless its heart, has long been the bureaucratic Bermuda Triangle where common sense goes to get lost in a sea of red tape and 'community input' that usually boils down to 'not in my backyard' from folks who moved here last Tuesday. We can only imagine the glee in the eyes of long-serving county planners as they prepare to induct another well-meaning citizen into the cult of 'process over prosperity.'

One can’t help but wonder if Supervisor Nelson, in his infinite wisdom, is sending Mr. Guy in as a Trojan Horse of sanity, or if he's merely sacrificing another good man to the altar of endless public hearings. The real story here, of course, isn't that a qualified professional was appointed – it's whether he’ll emerge from the Planning Commission's labyrinthine halls with his soul, or at least his patience, intact. Our money’s on the latter going first. Welcome to Santa Barbara County, Mr. Guy. Hope you brought a very strong antacid.