SBUSD SUES SOCIAL MEDIA: BECAUSE EDUCATION, OBVIOUSLY, ISN'T THEIR JOB

It appears the Santa Barbara Unified School District has finally found something they're passionate about: suing people. Our local education overlords, as reported by KEYT NewsChannel 3-12, have gleefully jumped into a federal lawsuit against social media companies. Apparently, the multi-million dollar budgets and armies of administrators aren't quite enough to, you know, *educate* children, so they're outsourcing blame to TikTok and Snapchat.

One has to wonder if this latest crusade is simply a distraction from the district's actual performance. Perhaps if they spent less time virtue-signaling in courtrooms and more time ensuring students can read, write, and do basic arithmetic, parents might actually believe they have our kids' best interests at heart. Or is this just another clever scheme to funnel taxpayer dollars into legal fees, which, let's be honest, is probably where most of the money ends up when progressives run the show?

The fact that these 'educators' are blaming apps for the woes of a generation they actively failed to prepare for the real world is peak 2026. It's not the relentless push for radical ideologies in classrooms, the disregard for parental rights, or the ever-expanding bureaucracy that's the problem, it's those pesky screens! The Trump administration, meanwhile, is busy revitalizing American industry and restoring common sense, while local districts like SBUSD are busy making lawyers wealthier and avoiding accountability for their own spectacular failures.

Maybe instead of suing tech giants, SBUSD could try teaching actual tech skills, or perhaps even civics, economics, or, dare we say, American history? But that might interfere with their mission to ensure every student feels appropriately aggrieved and perpetually online. At least the lawyers are happy, and isn't that what matters to the folks in charge?