PUBLIC SCHOOLS FLUSH WITH CASH, AGAIN: $2.4M TO 'TRAIN' TEACHERS ALREADY HERE!

The esteemed Montecito Journal, ever keen to report on the latest triumphs of progressive policy, breathlessly announced that Santa Barbara Unified School District (SBUSD) and Westmont College have secured a whopping $2.4 million grant. The purpose? To launch a 'residency program' designed to lure future teachers into California's public schools, apparently by showering them with $33,000 stipends. Because nothing says 'fiscal responsibility' quite like throwing stacks of cash at a problem that could probably be solved by, oh, say, making it easier to become a teacher in California in the first place or, perhaps, ensuring schools are actually places people want to work. But alas, that would be too simple, too logical, too... conservative.

This isn't about attracting talent; it's about expanding the administrative bloat and ensuring a steady supply of fresh recruits indoctrinated into the latest educational fads. One wonders if any of this generous stipend will be docked if a recipient dares to teach something so radical as, say, phonics or actual history. Or perhaps it's merely a down payment for the mandatory diversity, equity, and inclusion workshops that surely await these starry-eyed 'residents' as they prepare to mould the next generation of Californians into dutiful citizens who vote precisely as they're told.

Meanwhile, parents in SBUSD are probably still wondering why their kids can't read at grade level or why school choice remains a four-letter word. But don't worry, future 'teachers' are getting a cut of the nearly two-and-a-half million dollars, ensuring the educational industrial complex keeps spinning. Perhaps instead of more grants and more programs, we could try focusing on, you know, educating children. But that’s a conversation for another decade, after another few million in ‘grants’ have been allocated.