PROFESSORS DISCOVER HOUSING SHORTAGE: FILM AT 11 (BUT ONLY IF IT'S 'SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS')

Noozhawk, in their tireless quest to discover that water is, in fact, wet, has bravely enlightened us with a deep dive into Santa Barbara's 'housing crisis,' penned by a local academic. Apparently, students – a group notoriously flush with cash and stable employment – are finding it tough to secure digs in our fair city. And here we thought the 'struggle' was finding a vegan, gluten-free, ethically sourced kale smoothie after 9 PM. The article laments the 'language of economics' used to discuss housing, seemingly preferring a more interpretive dance approach to supply and demand.

Now, far be it from us to point out the obvious, but perhaps the 'market pressure' isn't some mystical force, but rather the logical outcome of decades of 'smart growth' policies dreamt up by the very same well-meaning, progressive academics and urban planners who now scratch their heads in befuddlement. When you make it virtually impossible to build anything taller than a garden gnome or wider than a bicycle lane, you kind of, well, reduce the housing supply. It's not rocket science, though one might think it is given the amount of public intellectualizing dedicated to this entirely self-inflicted wound.

The real story, of course, is the endless cycle of the liberal establishment commissioning studies, writing op-eds, and forming committees to discuss problems they created and perpetuate. While they wax poetic about 'affordability indexes,' the county continues to push regulations that add six figures to the cost of a starter home. But let's not let grubby things like 'property rights' or 'personal responsibility' get in the way of another hand-wringing session from The Ivory Tower, filtered through our local media. Next week, we expect Noozhawk to feature a piece on why beachfront property costs more than desert land – truly groundbreaking stuff from the 'thought leaders' of Santa Barbara.