POT SPUDS PROMISE ODORFIX (AGAIN!): WILL CARPINTERIA FINALLY STOP WHINING?

Carpinteria’s perpetually fragrant cannabis industry is once again promising to clean up its act, according to a recent edhat dispatch. The county's green giants, currently operating under the ever-present threat of business license revocation (a threat about as potent as decaf coffee at this point), are installing 'cutting-edge' odor control tech, which sounds suspiciously like the 'cutting-edge' odor control tech they promised last year, and the year before that. One has to wonder: just how many times can 'new' technology be rolled out before it’s simply 're-gifted' technology? Perhaps these high-minded entrepreneurs could take a cue from the White House and simply declare the 'smell-good' initiative a roaring success, regardless of what anyone actually smells.

Local residents, bless their increasingly olfactory-challenged hearts, are still reporting 'hot spots' of the tell-tale aroma, proof that either the technology isn't working, or the 'green' industry has a very… *distinct* definition of 'odor control.' One wonders if the county supervisors, who initially rattled their sabers about shutdowns over a year ago, are going to finally grow a spine and enforce their own rules, or if they’ll continue to give these operators more slack than a fishing line in a hurricane. After all, the tax revenue from these operations must be hitting the county coiffeurs like a contact high, making supervisors remarkably tolerant of a little *eau de skunk*.

The real story here isn't the mythical 'new' tech, but the sheer chutzpah of an industry that continually promises solutions while the problem persists. It's almost as if the 'threat of shutdown' is just bureaucratic theater, a performance for the plebs while the growers keep growing and the politicians keep collecting. Perhaps next year, they’ll announce a 'revolutionary' new strain of cannabis that smells exclusively of daisies and sunshine. We’re not holding our breath – though Carpinteria residents probably wish they could.