LOCAL THEATER COMPANY REMINDS ADULTS THEY WERE ONCE CHILDREN, CHARGES ADMISSION

In a truly stunning exposé, The Santa Barbara Independent has peeled back the curtain on a local theater production, 'A Delicate Ship,' which promises to explore the hitherto unknown phenomenon of adults having once been children. Truly, our intrepid local journalists must have worked tirelessly to uncover this profound insight, lest we all continue to wander through life blissfully unaware that our present selves are somehow linked to our past selves. What next? Will they announce water is wet? That politicians often lie?

One can only imagine the intellectual gymnastics required to stage a play around such a novel concept. Perhaps the actors will wear tiny hats and babble incoherently for Act I, then emerge in sensible blazers for Act II, clutching coffee cups and complaining about taxes. It's a bold artistic statement, especially for a 'fledgling group,' which is apparently theater-speak for 'we just started, please be gentle with our grant applications.'

We here at The Whipping Post applaud this revolutionary spirit. For too long, the 'relationship between adulthood and our childhood selves' has been relegated to the dusty corners of psychology textbooks and therapy sessions, where only trained professionals dared to tread. Now, thanks to Happy/Sad Theatre Company and the Independent's diligent reporting, this earth-shattering revelation is available to the masses, provided they buy a ticket and are prepared for a theatrical journey into the obvious.

One hopes this brave company will next tackle equally pressing, overlooked topics, such as 'the shocking connection between eating and not being hungry' or 'the surprising correlation between falling and hitting the ground.' The possibilities for enlightening the benighted Santa Barbara populace are endless, as long as the Independent keeps publishing their crucial insights.