HANCOCK COLLEGE BOARD'S LATEST 'APPOINTMENT' LOOKS MORE LIKE A DRAFT PICK

In a move showcasing the relentless march of unelected governance, the Allan Hancock College Board has 'selected' Elisa Pardo to fill a trustee vacancy through December 2028. The esteemed Noozhawk dutifully reported this non-electoral triumph, glossing over the minor detail that a board, rather than the actual voters of Area 1, got to pick their preferred pal to wield taxpayer dollars and influence young minds. It's almost as if 'democracy' is just a quaint buzzword for the plebians, while the real power brokers handle the messy business of appointments behind closed doors.

Pardo, described as a director at the non-profit CommUnify – because nothing says 'public service' like a non-profit executive who magically appears on a college board without ever needing to face an electorate – brings 'nearly 20 years of community-leadership experience.' We assume this experience includes expertly navigating the byzantine corridors of local power to ensure one is always on the 'right' side of an appointment committee. Forget canvassing neighborhoods or debating policy; simply be the *right* kind of 'community leader,' and opportunities like these practically drop into your lap.

While the Board congratulates itself on its enlightened choice, one has to wonder if they've heard of this ancient practice called an 'election.' It involves citizens actually casting ballots, a concept that seems increasingly foreign to many local boards and commissions. But why bother with the inconvenience of public input when a hand-picked, 'experienced' individual can just slide into position, ready to guide the future of Hancock College with the wisdom of the unelected? It’s a testament to progressive efficiency, really: bypass the voters, cut straight to the power. Just don’t call it undemocratic; call it ‘strategic community engagement.’