GOLETA'S LATEST 'HOUSING SOLUTION': 59 MORE UNITS, ZERO SOLUTIONS

Noozhawk reports the Goleta Planning Commission has, yet again, dutifully cleared the path for 59 more housing units on Hollister Avenue. Because nothing says 'solving the housing crisis' like cramming more people into an already gridlocked area, right? The 4-0 vote suggests a stunning lack of critical thought or perhaps, more likely, an eager compliance with the state-mandated housing quotas that prioritize quantity over quality, and certainly over the peace and quiet of existing residents.

Our crack team at The Whipping Post, having sifted through the tea leaves and campaign finance reports (which, surprisingly, weren't even hidden that well), noted the quiet removal of four existing structures to make way for this concrete jungle. One wonders if the ‘demolition’ was really just a euphemism for clearing out the last vestiges of anything remotely resembling single-family home ideals before the city turns completely into an apartment complex with a beach view. This isn’t a housing solution; it’s an urban planning surrender, driven by the same folks who insist we all live in 'dense, walkable communities' while they commute in their electric SUVs to their sprawling, un-densified properties.

What Noozhawk conveniently overlooked, in its breathless reporting of yet another commission approval, is the real cost. It’s not just the price tag for these new units, which will undoubtedly be 'affordable' only if you redefine the term to mean 'slightly less than a small country.' It’s the cost to our infrastructure, our roads, our schools, and the general quality of life for the taxpayers who actually live here. But hey, as long as the progressive housing mandates are met and developers get their permits, who needs things like common sense, local control, or actual traffic flow?

This isn't about housing; it's about control. It's about an ever-expanding bureaucracy dictating how and where we live, while the local commissions wave it through with all the critical analysis of a game show contestant picking door number three. Perhaps next time, the commission could try asking if these new units will come with a corresponding increase in infrastructure, or if we're just supposed to squeeze more toothpaste into an already full tube. Don't hold your breath, because that would require them to actually think beyond the next state mandate.