COUNTY SUPERVISORS GIVE THEMSELVES A PARTICIPATION TROPHY, CALL IT 'RECOGNIZING CITIZEN'

Well, folks, hold the presses and alert the Pulitzer committee! Our esteemed Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors, those titans of fiscal responsibility and common sense, recently gathered for a momentous occasion: adopting a resolution to recognize Carpinterian Amrita Salm. Coastal View News reported the monumental news, clearly understanding the profound implications for our republic.

One can only imagine the arduous debate, the sleepless nights spent crafting the perfect platitudes, before they finally settled on this vital piece of county business. Was there not a single pothole left unignored? Did all the homeless issues suddenly vanish? Were the ever-ballooning pension liabilities magically resolved? Fret not, taxpayers, for the Board bravely set aside such trivialities to ensure that a 'recognition resolution' was properly adopted. It's almost as if they gather periodically to congratulate themselves for showing up, then assign a random constituent to be the recipient of their self-congratulatory glow.

Sources close to the Board, who prefer to remain anonymous lest they be next to accept a 'resolution for showing up,' suggest this is simply standard operating procedure. When serious policy requires actual thought or, heaven forbid, cutting spending, the Board's agenda mysteriously fills with feel-good fluff. It helps distract from the fact that campaign donations from developers often dictate real agendas, while the rest is just political theater to make it look like they're doing something. Perhaps next they'll pass a resolution recognizing the sunshine for performing its daily duties.

While ordinary citizens grapple with regulations, permits, and a county budget that makes offshore drilling look like a lemonade stand, our Supervisors are busy with their public performance art. It’s a wonderful example of how the administrative state can churn out endless reams of paper that accomplish absolutely nothing, but oh-so-officially! One wonders if they print these resolutions on recycled paper made from discarded county budget proposals – now THAT would be something to recognize.