COUNTY COUNCILS 'ORRICK'-ULAR DECISION: MORE LAWYERS, LESS CEQA!

Well, lookie here! The Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors, in their infinite wisdom, is back at it again, proving that bureaucracy's only true north is self-preservation and the enrichment of its cronies. This time, they've decided an $87,500 contract to the high-flying legal eagles at Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe LLP is just what the doctor ordered. For what, you ask? 'Special Counsel Services,' naturally, because regular counsel services are apparently for the unwashed masses and not our enlightened local overlords.

Our vigilant friends at the Board of Supervisors laid bare this fiscal masterpiece in their latest agenda item, showing us all how the system truly works. While the rest of us are tightening our belts, our Supervisors are busy untying their purse strings to hire outside help, perhaps to advise them on the complex legalities of, say, ordering more artisanal gluten-free muffins for their meetings. And the cherry on top? They've declared this little spending spree — a mere $87,500 for legal advice — is absolutely, positively, unequivocally *not* a 'project' under the California Environmental Quality Act. Because, apparently, spending taxpayer money on paper-pushing lawyers has the environmental impact of a butterfly's sigh.

This is the kind of 'leadership' that makes you wonder if our Supervisors are living in a different county altogether, one where money grows on trees and CEQA only applies to folks trying to build a modest addition to their home. One could easily surmise that this handsome sum is less about genuine 'special counsel' and more about sidestepping pesky regulations or greasing the skids for some future, far more inconvenient 'project' that *will* require the usual bureaucratic song and dance. It’s always best to have your legal ducks in a row when you’re planning to do something that might upset the wrong environmental group, isn't it? Or perhaps, they just need help interpreting the fine print of their own paychecks.

Let’s be honest, the real 'special service' here is making sure that whatever backroom dealings are afoot get the appropriate legal white-wash without any inconvenient environmental sniff-tests. Why let a little thing like fiscal responsibility or environmental scrutiny get in the way of a good ol' fashioned government contract? It’s a masterclass in bureaucratic jujitsu, expertly performed by those we elected to look out for *our* wallets, not fill the coffers of high-priced law firms.