COUNTY BOSSES HUNT FOR MORE PENSION PLUNDERERS!

The Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors, in a move that surely surprised no one, announced they're looking to fill two vacancies on the County Retirement Board. Noozhawk, ever vigilant in reporting the thrilling minutiae of bureaucracy, dutifully passed along the summons for 'qualified county residents.' We assume 'qualified' means 'willing to rubber-stamp whatever the existing power structure wants, preferably while looking busy.'

Because nothing says 'fiduciary responsibility' quite like letting the very people who created the county's multi-billion-dollar unfunded pension liability decide who gets to manage it. This isn't just about managing money; it's about managing expectations, particularly those of taxpayers who are footing the bill for a system that keeps growing like a weed on steroids. One has to wonder if 'qualified' also means 'able to make complex financial decisions while simultaneously ignoring the gaping maw of future pension obligations.'

Let’s be honest, this isn’t an open call for an actuary who actually understands risk management. This is about finding two more bodies to sit on a board that oversees a system designed to funnel taxpayer cash into increasingly unsustainable promises. We fully expect the Board to find candidates with sterling credentials in 'community organizing' or 'equity and inclusion' rather than, say, a background in actual investment strategy or basic arithmetic. After all, what could go wrong with a bit more progressive pixie dust sprinkled on a pension fund already teetering on the brink?

Keep an eye on who gets appointed. We predict a swift return on investment for campaign donors and political allies, disguised as 'good governance.' Because in Santa Barbara County, the only thing more reliable than the tides is the left's ability to find new ways to spend your money while pretending it's for your own good.