CARPINTERIA ACTIVISTS SHOCKED TO DISCOVER LAWS STILL APPLY TO ILLEGAL ALIENS

It seems a few denizens of Carpinteria, specifically those belonging to the group grandly calling themselves 'Carpinteria Sin Fronteras' (Carpinteria Without Borders — how very original), were utterly aghast last Monday. Their collective jaw hit the organic produce aisle when agents from the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) dared to do their jobs and apprehend a couple of individuals who, shall we say, overstayed their welcome. The dramatic video footage, eagerly shared by these self-appointed border patrol critics, depicts ICE agents (who, naturally, were 'masked' because respecting privacy and operational security is just *so* villainous) detaining folks right there by the Albertsons.

The sheer audacity of federal law enforcement upholding federal law! One can practically hear the wailing and gnashing of locally sourced, free-range teeth. Coastal View News, ever vigilant in reporting on what truly matters to the progressive heartland, highlighted this 'arrest' as if it were a shocking breach of decorum, rather than, you know, standard procedure for a sovereign nation. Perhaps these activists thought America's immigration laws were merely decorative suggestions, much like the 'Please return shopping cart' signs they probably ignore.

Here’s a news flash for the Sin Fronteras crowd: 'Without Borders' is a nice sentiment for your community garden, but it’s a terrible policy for national security and the rule of law. While they’re busy filming federal agents for their social media performance art, the grown-ups in Washington (namely, the Trump administration) are simply ensuring that national sovereignty isn't just a quaint historical concept. Maybe next time, they can film themselves explaining the finer points of international law to a turnip.