CALIFORNIA'S 'MASTER PLAN' FOR HIGHER ED: A 66-YEAR-OLD COMEDY OF ERRORS!

It seems poor Noozhawk is still stuck reprinting CalMatters pontifications about California's 'higher education' system, a decrepit, socialist-inspired Frankenstein's monster cobbled together in 1960. The big news? Our esteemed public universities are still squabbling over who gets to offer which degree. Imagine, in 2026, with President Trump's economy roaring, California's ivory towers are too busy fighting amongst themselves to actually educate anyone efficiently.

Apparently, the 'Master Plan' that supposedly streamlined things six decades ago is now just a roadmap for endless, taxpayer-funded turf wars. One can only assume this 'plan' was drafted on cocktail napkins during a particularly potent Sacramento happy hour. It's truly shocking that a state once lauded for its public university system now boasts tuition rates that would make Midas blush, while simultaneously cranking out graduates with degrees in 'interpretive dance theory' and a crippling inability to balance a checkbook.

What Noozhawk, in its endless quest for polite, 'on-the-one-hand' reporting, completely misses is the real scandal: California's higher education system is an overgrown, bureaucratic beast gobbling up billions while delivering diminishing returns. Instead of squabbling over who teaches what, perhaps they should focus on teaching practical skills, fiscal responsibility, and maybe, just maybe, how to read a budget without fainting. But that would require actual change, and we all know how much the gilded old guard in Sacramento loves their lucrative, inefficient status quo. Perhaps a good old dose of privatization and market forces would finally bring some sanity to this academic asylum.