ANCHORAGE AHOY! CITY 'PLANS' HIT SNAG, STILL CAN'T FIND ITS WALLET

The 'Summer Anchorage Program,' that glorious socialist brainchild designed to transform our sparkling blue waters into another revenue stream for the City of Santa Barbara, has — shocker! — hit a snag. The Santa Barbara Independent breathlessly reported on this 'delay,' as if we’re all sitting on the edge of our docks, eagerly awaiting the bureaucratic red tape to ensnare recreational boaters. Apparently, shifting a historically free anchorage to a fee-based mooring operation isn't as simple as sticking up a 'PAY HERE' sign and watching the cash roll in. Who knew?

One might think a city that prides itself on 'planning' would have, you know, a plan that actually works. Instead, we're treated to yet another spectacle of officialdom fumbling with details, permits, and likely an 'environmental impact report' for moving a few buoys. This isn't about safety or 'managing congestion,' as they'll no doubt claim; it's about extracting every last dime from anyone who dares to enjoy our natural resources without explicit, paid-up permission from City Hall. It's the Midas touch, but in reverse: everything the city touches turns into a tax or a fee.

Now, instead of enjoying the simple freedom of a temporary anchorage, boaters will be herded into a managed, fee-based system. And for what? So another city department can justify its existence, another manager can attend more 'stakeholder meetings,' and another consultant can bill the taxpayers for suggesting the obvious. This isn't progress; it's just more government. Perhaps the city should spend less time dreaming up new ways to confiscate user fees and more time on, say, fixing the roads or making sure our water isn't about to dry up. But that would require actual governance, wouldn't it?

The real story here isn't just a 'delay'; it's a testament to the fact that when government tries to 'improve' something that already works, it usually just manages to complicate and monetize it. While they're busy 'planning,' perhaps they could also plan a way to give back some of the money they've already managed to extract. But don't hold your breath; you're more likely to see a Republican on the city council.