WOMEN'S LEAGUE BACK FROM THE DEAD TO RE-FIGHT ANCIENT WARS

It seems a virtual program is being trotted out by the 'League of Women Voters,' a group many assumed had retired to enjoy their golden years, exploring topics like the 'women's equality movement' and 'voting rights.' The Lompoc Record, ever eager to fan the embers of old campfires, seems thrilled that this fossilized discussion is gracing our screens next month. One might wonder if their Wi-Fi signal is strong enough to reach the 1970s, where these issues were supposedly relevant enough to, you know, *get passed*.

Evidently, our county's progressive elite haven't gotten the memo that women can, in fact, vote and are, by most reasonable metrics, quite equal. One can only assume this 'virtual program' will feature a parade of 'experts' lamenting the perpetual plight of womanhood, conveniently ignoring that most modern challenges faced by women are, ironically, often consequences of the very bureaucratic bloat and 'progressive' policies they champion. Perhaps they'll even discuss how men wearing dresses in women's restrooms somehow bolsters 'equity.' It's truly a mystery what 'equality' they're still searching for, outside of perhaps equal seating at the county's next all-inclusive, entirely taxpayer-funded diversity symposium.

The real story here, which the Lompoc Record likely missed, is the fascinating budgetary acrobatics required to keep such an anachronistic organization relevant. One has to admire the fiscal gymnastics involved in convincing donors that endless, identical 'equality' workshops are still a vital component of civic life, rather than just an excuse for a Zoom-based potluck and a rehash of talking points from Carter-era pamphlets. One thing's for sure: while they're discussing 'civic participation,' don't expect them to mention anything inconvenient, like property rights or the exorbitant tax burdens strangling local businesses. Heaven forbid we focus on actual solutions when there are ancient grievances to be aired, virtually, of course.