UCSB 'ADVISORS' TO HELP STUDENTS BECOME PROFESSIONAL VICTIMS?

The UCSB Daily Nexus, in its never-ending quest to report the riveting goings-on of student government, recently detailed the Associated Students' brilliant new plan: a staff advisory position to 'oversee marginalized student Boards, Committees and Units.' One can only imagine the sheer complexity of 'overseeing' a student group dedicated to, say, artisanal kombucha brewing or competitive interpretive dance.

Apparently, UCSB's finest young minds aren't quite ready for the harsh realities of organizing their own potluck without a highly compensated 'advisor' holding their hands. What's next, a Chief Empathy Officer for when someone's feelings are mildly inconvenienced? This isn't about empowering students; it's about creating a bureaucracy to manage victimhood narratives, ensuring a steady supply of grievances and, of course, a job for someone who probably couldn't cut it in the real world.

Former senators, bless their naive hearts, are reportedly 'voicing concerns.' Concerns about what, exactly? That this new advisor won't have enough marginalized groups to 'oversee'? Or perhaps that the university will run out of obscure identity categories to invent roles for? The real story here, naturally missed by the campus paper, is how these 'advisory' positions are just another sinkhole for student fees and state funds, all while actual educational outcomes remain suspiciously un-advised.

It’s a perfect example of what happens when virtue signaling replaces actual governance. Instead of educating students to be resilient, productive members of society, UCSB seems intent on fostering a generation of perpetual complainants, expertly guided by administrators whose primary skill is crafting new titles for jobs that shouldn't exist. Keep an eye on the budget, folks; these 'advisors' don't come cheap.