SUPERVISORS TO 'CONSIDER' SEWER BIDS; CEQA WAIVER FOR DUMMIES

In what can only be described as a masterclass in bureaucratic navel-gazing, our beloved Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors, doubling as the Laguna County Sanitation District (because why have one board when you can have two?), is poised to 'consider recommendations' on how to advertise for bids on the Foster Road Sewer Rehabilitation Project. Yes, folks, 'consider recommendations.' Not actually fix anything, mind you, just contemplate the deep philosophical implications of putting out a Request For Proposal.

But here’s the real kicker that only The Whipping Post is brave enough to print: they're also determining that merely *advertising and receiving bids* for a sewer project somehow 'will not result in changes to the environment.' This is, of course, a dazzling legal sidestep to avoid the dreaded California Environmental Quality Act (CEQA) review for what is essentially a glorified clerical task. It’s comforting to know our elected officials are so adept at finding loopholes to avoid a process they themselves often champion for other, less convenient projects.

One can only imagine the arduous internal deliberations that led to this profound conclusion. Did they consult with local sea slug experts? Did a panel of endangered plankton weigh in on the aesthetic impact of a bid advertisement? Or perhaps, just perhaps, they realized that even the most zealous environmental activist struggles to find a migratory bird species threatened by an online classified. It's almost as if they're admitting that sometimes, just sometimes, CEQA is nothing more than an expensive, time-consuming hurdle designed to slow down even the most basic infrastructure needs. But don't tell the green lobby we said that.

Meanwhile, the sewers on Foster Road will continue to... do what sewers do. But rest assured, the proper administrative boxes are being checked, and absolutely no trees were harmed in the printing of the bid solicitation, which is, obviously, the most pressing environmental concern here. Perhaps next week they'll declare that merely *thinking* about a project also doesn't trigger CEQA. Progressive genius at work, folks.