SUPERVISORS GREENLIGHT POCKET CHANGE FOR MONTECITO ELITE, AGAIN

Your perpetually bewildered Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors, bless their cotton socks, held a hearing that effectively rubber-stamped a land-use fantasy for a well-placed Montecito property owner. While normal folks are told to live in micro-apartments and carpool with six strangers, the Malkin General Plan Amendment, Rezone, and Lot Line Adjustment is just another demonstration that planning rules are more like suggestions when you've got the right surname and a very accommodating set of elected officials.

Apparently, some lucky ducks get to shrink their minimum parcel sizes from a perfectly adequate five acres down to a meager two. Because, you know, five acres is just too cramped for a proper Montecito spread. The Board determined this land grab was 'exempt from CEQA' — the California Environmental Quality Act — because, well, it's 'Existing Facilities' and 'Minor Alterations.' We assume this means the existing facility is 'wealth' and the minor alteration is 'even more wealth.'

This isn't just about some arbitrary land reshuffling; it's about the quiet, behind-the-scenes favors that grease the wheels of local government. While the rest of us endure endless permitting delays and ever-tightening regulations, certain individuals glide through the process like butter. It's almost as if the 'Supervisors' agendas, like this one from the SB County Board of Supervisors, are less about public service and more about facilitating private prosperity for a select few. The only thing they're 'planning' is how to make sure their donors stay happy.