SUDDENLY, 'SUPPORT FOR FRIEDMAN' IS A THING: IS SANTA BARBARA OUT OF PEOPLE?

Well, folks, hold onto your organic kale chips, because the Santa Barbara Independent has just dropped a bombshell op-ed that has us all collectively scratching our heads, wondering if the city has finally run out of actual leaders. Apparently, after years of diligent 'web page' watching – which sounds suspiciously like doom-scrolling without the actual doom, just endless council meetings – one brave soul has identified Eric Friedman as the one, the only, the 'right temperament' for mayor. This isn't just support; it's an archaeological dig into the depths of civic boredom, unearthing a candidate so unassuming he practically blends into the beige walls of City Hall.

We here at The Whipping Post have to admire the sheer audacity of suggesting that what Santa Barbara truly needs is a leader defined by their 'quest for knowledge' gleaned from endless online meetings. One might think a mayor would require a 'quest for competence,' or perhaps a 'quest for fiscal responsibility,' but no, it's all about that intellectual curiosity – presumably for finding new ways to spend taxpayer money on studies about studies. One can almost hear the triumphant cry, 'Eureka! I have found another consultant!' ringing through the hallowed halls of our municipal government.

While the Independent dutifully publishes these wistful musings, the real question remains: what backroom deal or obscure bureaucratic mandate is this 'support' actually paving the way for? Is this just a trial balloon for a new, even more hands-off approach to governance, where the mayor's primary role is to observe and ponder deeply? Our bet is this 'temperament' and 'knowledge quest' will translate into more of the same tired progressive policies, more regulations stifling small businesses, and another term of the city's self-congratulatory march towards insolvency, all under the guise of intellectual rigor. Frankly, we'd prefer a mayor who actually *does* something, rather than just *watches* things being done.