STATE STREET: CONSULTANTS GORGE AS CITY HALL FEEDS THE BEAST, TAXPAYERS FOOT BILL

It seems a summer hiatus from the public's watchful eye does little to curb the Santa Barbara City Council’s penchant for profligate spending. According to reports from the ever-vigilant (and likely perplexed) folks at KEYT NewsChannel 3-12, our councilors sauntered back from their sun-drenched breaks only to immediately approve another whopping $92,000 for the 'State Street Master Plan' consultants. Because clearly, half a million dollars wasn't quite enough to figure out how to put shops back on a street where shops used to be.

This latest expenditure brings the grand total for 'professional services' by Moule and Polyzoides to over $510,000. One has to wonder if these 'consultants' are actually designing a pedestrian promenade, or perhaps a gold-plated, artisanal unicycle path. Either way, local taxpayers, bless their hearts, get to subsidize this endless, bureaucratic merry-go-round, all while actual businesses on State Street continue to struggle under the weight of indecision and endless 'planning.'

Here's the angle nobody else printed: While the city coughs up princely sums for consultants to 'master plan' an existing street, don't miss the subtle dance behind the curtain. Every 'plan' requires 'input,' which often conveniently aligns with the desires of certain deep-pocketed developers or well-connected downtown property owners. The endless consulting fees aren't just about pretty pictures; they're about shaping the narrative and zoning to benefit those who whisper sweetest into the ears of city officials. The 'Master Plan' becomes a master key to future development, and taxpayers are just paying for the key duplicator.

So, as the consultants toast to their latest windfall, and the City Council pats itself on the back for 'progress,' the rest of us are left to ponder when this 'temporary' promenade will become another permanent monument to public funds poured into private pockets. Perhaps next year, they'll hire consultants to consult on consulting fees. The possibilities are, it seems, endless.