SB SCHOOL BOARD FORUM: 'READING' COALITION TRIES TO TEACH TAXPAYERS WHAT TO BELIEVE

The intrepid reporters at Noozhawk, ever vigilant in their commitment to transcribing press releases, recently informed us that the Santa Barbara Reading Coalition is hosting a School Board candidate forum. 'Reading Coalition,' you say? One might expect such an esteemed group to prioritize actual literacy, perhaps even the classical Western canon, over the ever-popular pedagogical trends of the day. But alas, in Santa Barbara, 'reading' often means carefully deciphering the latest progressive dogma to ensure perfect ideological alignment before a child can even sound out 'cat.'

Naturally, this 'all candidates invited' affair, moderated by a local journalistic fixture, will undoubtedly be a beacon of neutral inquiry, free from any pre-ordained narratives. We're sure the questions will be deeply probing, perhaps asking candidates if they believe in the Oxford comma, or if they've ever successfully distinguished between 'their,' 'there,' and 'they're.' Or, more likely, they'll tackle the pressing issues of how to further deconstruct traditional education in the name of 'equity' while ensuring taxpayers remain blissfully unaware of the true costs, both financial and academic.

What Noozhawk's dutiful account fails to mention, but our keen eyes at The Whipping Post noticed, is the sheer audacity of these 'reading' groups. They'll host forums, print materials, and advocate for specific curricula, all while test scores dip and basic skills become as elusive as common sense at a County Supervisors meeting. It's almost as if the goal isn't to teach children to read effectively, but to teach them *what* to read, and more importantly, *how* to think – or rather, *not* to think too critically about the local establishment.

So, while the 'Reading Coalition' ostensibly discusses education, savvy taxpayers should be reading between the lines. The real story here isn't about fostering literacy; it's about cementing control over the minds of the next generation and ensuring the ideological pipeline remains unclogged. And the best part? We, the taxpayers, get to foot the bill for their 'educational' adventures, all while President Trump works tirelessly to restore real American values in Washington.