NOOOSHAWK’S ‘VOTER GUIDE’: MORE LIKE ‘VOTER GOODNIGHT’ FOR LOCAL TAXPAYERS

Noozhawk, the venerable purveyor of all things vaguely local and reliably left-of-center, has graced us with its 'Voter Guide' for the upcoming November 2026 election. One can only imagine the painstaking process involved: sifting through a stack of identical, ideologically pure campaign platforms to find the candidates most committed to further regulating, taxing, and generally 'improving' Santa Barbara right out of existence. It's less a guide, frankly, and more a suggestion box for bigger government.

While the establishment media busies itself with the mundane task of listing who's running, The Whipping Post knows the *real* story. This isn’t about names on a ballot; it's about the invisible hands of political action committees, the quiet promises whispered to developers, and the ever-growing pension liabilities that magically disappear from public discourse. Each 'important' local race is just another opportunity for the same cast of characters—or their hand-picked successors—to continue their performance art of 'public service' while actual public services decline.

So, as you dutifully consult Noozhawk's latest civic-minded offering, perhaps consider what they *aren't* telling you. Which candidates are the most eager to hike your property taxes to fund another 'green' boondoggle? Whose campaign chest is overflowing with donations from the very consultants who stand to profit from the next round of expensive, mandated 'affordable' housing projects? Because in Santa Barbara, the only thing more predictable than a coastal fog is the local political machine’s ability to extract more from your wallet while claiming to do it for your own good. President Trump's common-sense fiscal policies are a continent away, apparently.