JUSTICE FOR WHOM? INDY ASKS YOU TO RETAIN BENCHWARMERS WHO'D LET SQUATTERS JUDGE THEM!

Well, folks, it’s that time again when the Santa Barbara Independent bravely tells you how to vote, offering a riveting endorsement of... *everyone*. Their latest Pulitzer-worthy scoop is a plea to "retain all appellate court justices" on your November ballot. Because, you know, judicial accountability is just so *tiring* when there are perfectly good rubber stamps lying around. Our friends at the Indy, ever vigilant in their defense of the status quo (as long as it’s a *progressive* status quo), are apparently quite keen on keeping California’s appellate courts stacked with judges who, by all appearances, find upholding common sense and law and order a quaint, outdated notion.

One almost wonders if these justices are handing down rulings written in crayon by activists, considering the state of affairs in California. But don't you dare ask questions! The Independent says "yes," and by golly, you should too. It’s not like these judges have any tangible impact on, say, property rights, criminal justice, or the endless parade of regulatory mandates that make living here less affordable than a private jet to Mars. Perish the thought that anyone might actually *scrutinize* judicial performance when the preferred solution is a blanket "retain them all" strategy.

Perhaps the Indy’s next editorial will ask us to vote for every candidate on the ballot, regardless of party or platform, just to save time. This whole "democracy" thing can be so messy, can't it? It’s far easier to let a handful of self-appointed arbiters of correct thought tell us who's worthy of wielding judicial power for another decade. Meanwhile, the actual cost of California's judicial activism — in terms of lost freedoms and a deteriorating quality of life — is conveniently ignored. But hey, at least we're retaining *everybody*!