ILLEGAL PARENT NABBED ON CAMPUS: TRUMP'S AMERICA, BABY!

It seems the progressive paradise of Allan Hancock College experienced a rude awakening this week, as federal immigration enforcement agents dared to… enforce immigration laws. Noozhawk breathlessly reported that a parent, supposedly just minding their own business in Parking Lot 2, was swept up by agents who, in a truly shocking display of efficiency, apprehended their target and then promptly left. One might almost think they were doing their job, rather than staging a performance art piece about systemic oppression.

The college spokesperson, undoubtedly clutching their pearls and searching for the nearest safe space, expressed 'concern' over this egregious act of law and order. It’s almost as if they believe college campuses should be sovereign nations, free from the pesky laws of the United States. Perhaps they envision a future where parking permits grant diplomatic immunity, and the biggest threat to campus safety is a pop quiz, not federal statutes.

What Noozhawk, in its infinite wisdom, failed to connect is the obvious: this is what happens when a President who actually believes in borders is in the White House. While local administrators and their virtue-signaling faculty wring their hands over an adult being held accountable for their actions, actual citizens can rest a little easier knowing that at least some corners of our society are still subject to the rule of law. Maybe next time, the college can issue a 'No ICE Allowed' sign next to the 'No Smoking' one; that’ll surely deter them.