HANCOCK HITS TAXPAYERS WITH ANOTHER $290M BOND: "TRUST US, IT'S FOR 'UPGRADES'"!

Well, strike up the band and cue the confetti, because our local community college is once again proving that the only thing more reliable than a sunrise is a bond measure on the ballot. KEYT NewsChannel 3-12 dutifully reports that Allan Hancock College wants a cool $290 million from you, the long-suffering taxpayer, for 'campus upgrades.' We're sure these aren't just for fancy new diversity, equity, and inclusion offices or a bronze statue of that one guy who invented 'critical theory' on a unicycle.

Funny how these 'infrastructure' bonds always seem to coincide with administrators needing new chrome-plated cubicles and lavish retreats, isn't it? One has to wonder what exactly isn't covered in their existing multi-hundred-million-dollar budget, or the last bond measure, or the one before that. Perhaps they're planning to finally invest in a time machine to send progressive professors back to the 1950s to see how actual education was conducted, but we doubt it. More likely, it's just another cash grab for projects that could easily be funded by, say, cutting administrative bloat or perhaps not offering a 'History of Woke Hair Styles' elective.

Now, here's the angle nobody else printed: a quick peek at recent campaign finance disclosures for local bond committees reveals a curious uptick in donations from several prominent construction and consulting firms that just happen to land lucrative contracts with public institutions. Coincidence? Probably. Just like it's a coincidence that every single bond measure promises to fix 'crumbling infrastructure' without ever quite getting around to it after the funds are secured. It’s the circle of local government life: tax, spend, repeat, and call it 'progress.'

So dear voters, when you see that ballot, remember who is really benefiting from these endless 'upgrades.' Is it truly the students getting a better education, or is it a revolving door of contractors, consultants, and college bureaucrats feathering their nests? The Whipping Post suggests a healthy dose of skepticism, and perhaps a magnifying glass to read the fine print that even the legacy media like KEYT sometimes, shall we say, 'overlooks' in their rush to print the press releases.