GREEN HYSTERIA OVER OIL? WE THOUGHT THE INDEPENDENT WAS SMARTER THAN THAT!

It seems the *Santa Barbara Independent* has once again found a new reason for its readers to panic, breathlessly proclaiming that our 'waters are sacred' because the Trump administration's Department of the Interior dared to propose a rational five-year plan for offshore energy leasing. Apparently, in the progressive paradise of Santa Barbara, the idea of American energy security and affordable gas prices is tantamount to a sacrilege, even as their luxury homes glow from grid power and their Teslas recharge, all thanks to reliable, affordable energy.

The sheer audacity of the federal government to consider tapping into our own resources, rather than begging petro-dictators abroad, is just too much for the local virtue-signaling set. They prefer to ignore the actual science and the economic benefits that responsible energy production brings, opting instead for a theatrical performance of ecological doom, complete with dire warnings about 'what comes next.' What comes next, dear Independistas, is usually jobs, lower utility bills, and a robust national economy, but don't let facts get in the way of a good tantrum.

One might think that after years of energy self-sabotage, even the most ardent environmental purists would concede that a balanced approach to energy is essential. But no, for some, the mere whiff of hydrocarbon extraction is enough to trigger a full-blown existential crisis. Perhaps they'd prefer we return to whale oil lamps, as long as it means keeping our 'sacred' waters free from the modern necessities that allow them to tweet their outrage from climate-controlled comfort. It's almost as if some people enjoy being cold and poor, as long as they can blame it on Big Oil, or in this case, the sensible policies of a Republican White House.