FINALLY! 'RAPE CULTURE' GETS A NEW ZIP CODE! TAXPAYERS ON THE HOOK?

Well, folks, the high-minded do-gooders at STESA are apparently upgrading their facilities, as breathlessly reported by the Santa Barbara Independent, which seems perpetually confused about what constitutes actual news. One can only imagine the vital, groundbreaking work being done in their previous, presumably less chic, location. Now, with a new address on Anacapa Street, they're set to, you know, 'end rape culture.' Because, as any discerning resident knows, the primary obstacle to eradicating societal ills has always been suboptimal office space.

While ordinary citizens worry about the price of gas (thanks, Green New Deal fanatics!), the rampant homelessness crisis on our streets (thanks, progressive policies!), and the soaring cost of living (thanks, endless government spending!), our local elites are busy with abstract concepts. It's a miracle, isn't it, how 'rape culture' persists despite millions poured into committees, task forces, and, now, presumably more ergonomic office chairs? Perhaps, just perhaps, the 'culture' isn't the problem, but rather the actual criminals who commit actual crimes, and the soft-on-crime policies that let them back on the street. But that's too simple for the intellectual luminaries on Anacapa Street.

One can't help but wonder if this new location came with a hefty lease, funded by some obscure county grant or, more likely, directly from the pockets of taxpayers who are too busy working to notice. While President Trump's administration is busy making America great again, cutting red tape, and restoring law and order across the nation, our local progressive leadership seems focused on expanding the bureaucracy of victimhood. Maybe instead of new offices to talk about 'culture,' they could invest in more deputies on the beat, prosecuting actual criminals, or even, dare we say it, securing our border so that real threats don't make it to Anacapa Street.

But no, that would be too effective. It's far more fashionable, and certainly more profitable for some, to keep dissecting 'rape culture' from the comfort of a newly furnished office. It's almost as if the problem's continued existence guarantees their relevance, and their funding. The Whipping Post, for one, suspects this move will do precisely nothing to curb actual crime, but it will certainly generate some lovely press releases and perhaps a few more 'inclusive' workshops. Just what Santa Barbara needed.