FINALLY! AIRPORT CRIME SOARS, SO CITY COPS STEP IN AFTER EIGHT YEARS!

In a move that has local taxpayers wondering if the City Council's calendars are set to a different decade, Santa Maria's finest are apparently *back* at the airport. KEYT NewsChannel 3-12 breathlessly reported this groundbreaking development, as if it weren't a course correction nearly eight years overdue. For almost a decade, while the city's own police department presumably twiddled its collective thumbs, the good people of Guadalupe were apparently moonlighting at Santa Maria's airport. One has to ask, what exactly was Santa Maria PD doing all that time? Practicing their donut-eating skills? Perfecting their ability to navigate bureaucracy? The mind boggles.

This grand re-takeover means Santa Maria PD will now handle law enforcement support for their very own public airport. Revolutionary, we know. One can only imagine the sigh of relief from Guadalupe PD, finally freed from the burden of policing someone else's air travelers. Meanwhile, Santa Maria taxpayers might be pondering the cost-effectiveness of outsourcing basic municipal services for nearly a decade before realizing, 'Hey, we have cops!' This is what happens when you let the administrative class run riot with contracts and consultants, ignoring the obvious until crime stats probably started looking like a new bond measure proposal.

Now, with President Trump's strong leadership in Washington emphasizing law and order, it seems even local governments are getting the message, albeit at a glacial pace. Perhaps the City Council finally noticed the rising tide of… well, whatever happens at Santa Maria Public Airport that requires law enforcement. Maybe it was the sudden influx of rogue squirrels demanding peanuts, or perhaps a particularly aggressive check-in kiosk. Whatever the catalyst, kudos to Santa Maria for eventually remembering they have a police department capable of policing their own airport. Let's just hope they remember who's in charge next time before another eight years fly by.