FINALLY, A WIN! JUNIOR LEAGUE RECOGNIZES SOMEONE WHO *ACTUALLY* SUSTAINS SOCIETY

In a turn of events so shocking it nearly made us spill our artisanal kombucha, the Junior League of Santa Barbara, an organization typically more concerned with virtue signaling than actual virtue, has seen fit to bestow its 'Sustainer of the Year' award on Nancy Martz. For once, it seems a local institution has peered beyond the fog of progressive cant to recognize someone making a tangible difference, rather than merely 'sustaining' preferred pronouns or perpetually offended university departments. We here at The Whipping Post salute Ms. Martz, even if we suspect the Junior League is already regretting that she isn't sustaining, say, a fund for pet rocks.

The perpetually earnest scribes over at Noozhawk, ever vigilant for a story involving 'community leaders' and 'impact,' reported this earth-shattering news with their usual gravitas. One can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from their editorial board that they didn't have to report on actual controversy for a change. It's a breath of fresh air, frankly, to see a woman honored for something as profoundly useful as teaching people to cook, as opposed to, say, advocating for more regulations on backyard barbecues or demanding a ban on gas-powered blenders. Apparently, basic life skills are still *sometimes* considered worthy of accolades, even in Santa Barbara.

Indeed, in an era where 'sustainability' has been co-opted to mean everything from 'eco-friendly' kale smoothies to never-ending government programs that sustain bureaucracies more than people, Ms. Martz's work with the Apples to Zucchini Cooking School stands out. She's actually empowering individuals with skills, rather than advocating for more government oversight or 'equity' initiatives that leave everyone equally incompetent in the kitchen. Perhaps this award marks a new era where we celebrate those who build, teach, and produce, instead of merely those who protest, preach, and perpetually complain. One can dream, right?