COUNTY COUNSEL'S RAISE: CEQA-EXEMPT HIGHWAY TO RICHES!

Well, sharpen your quills and grit your teeth, taxpayers, because the Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors is at it again, proving once more that some things are too sacred to be scrutinized – like, say, their top legal eagle's bank account. This week, we caught sight of an agenda item so transparently absurd it could only come from our esteemed local government: a tidy 4.97% 'performance-based' salary adjustment for the County Counsel, pushing their pay packet north of $340,000 annually.

And what's truly delightful, you ask? The board's ingenious determination that handing out this princely sum is 'exempt from CEQA.' Yes, you read that right. The California Environmental Quality Act, usually the bane of every actual project involving shovels, concrete, or anything that might cast a shadow, apparently does not apply to the physical impact of a six-figure salary increase on the public purse. Because, as the Board's logic goes, it's just 'government funding mechanisms and/or other government fiscal activities' that don't involve any 'commitment to any specific project... which may result in a potentially significant physical impact on the environment.'

One can almost hear the crickets chirping, or perhaps the faint rustle of more tax dollars being spirited away. It's truly a masterclass in bureaucratic gobbledygook, essentially declaring that while building a new shed might require a full environmental impact report, inflating a county lawyer's salary has all the ecological impact of a gentle summer breeze.

So, while small businesses navigate endless red tape and residents fret over rising costs, our Board finds ingenious ways to ensure the county's in-house legal team is doing just fine, thank you very much. Perhaps the 'performance' being rewarded here is expertly navigating the serpentine pathways of public finance to ensure maximum personal gain with minimal oversight. One thing is clear: the only 'green' item on this agenda is the color of the County Counsel's newfound dough.