The Whipping Post Take on SB County Board of Supervisors
COUNTY COOLS ITS HEELS: $138M JAIL EXPANSION (EVENTUALLY) GETS GREEN LIGHT!
After eighteen long years of navel-gazing, our industrious supervisors have finally decided the North Branch Jail might actually need more space for all the 'misunderstood' individuals their policies
The Board of Supervisors, in a truly breathtaking display of bureaucratic agility, has at last — and by 'at last,' we mean nearly two decades after original certifications — decided to move forward with a $138 million expansion of the North Branch Jail. Forget efficient government; this is a masterclass in 'eventually.' It took less time for the Romans to build aqueducts than it did for Santa Barbara County to agree on whether to add a few more cells.
The original environmental review for this project, according to the agenda item our friends at the Board of Supervisors generously provided, dates back to 2008. That was when George W. Bush was still president! Now, with President Trump firmly back in the Oval Office, our local laggards are finally getting around to it. One might wonder if the county's decision-making process is powered by a sundial and a committee of tortoises.
Sletten Construction, a firm from Montana no less, gets the nod for this monumental (in terms of timeline) undertaking. Meanwhile, 'second-ranked' proposer Hensel Phelps gets a $100,000 consolation prize, seemingly for the sheer effort of filling out the paperwork while the county deliberated for nearly two decades. It's a generous sum for a 'thanks for playing' sticker, isn't it? Perhaps they should offer a stipend to the taxpayers for waiting this long.
And talk about 'connecting the dots' – who truly benefits from these glacial, multi-million dollar projects? It's not just about more cells; it's about the endless addendums, the 'not to exceed' sums that always manage to exceed, and the perpetuation of the bureaucratic class that thrives on such deliberate inaction. This isn't just a jail expansion; it's a testament to how comfortably local government can spend your money while taking its sweet, sweet time.
Here’s the angle nobody else printed: The 'environmental reviews,' which apparently needed endless updates since 2008, magically found 'no substantial changes' requiring a fresh look. Funny how when $138 million is on the table, suddenly the environmental impact report from nearly two decades ago holds up just fine. It's almost as if the environmental concerns are a convenient hurdle until the politically appointed contractors are ready to break ground.
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