CEMETERY SHUFFLE: LIBERALS UNCOVER NEW VOTER BASE, EVEN COLDER!

It seems the Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors, ever vigilant in their quest to expand the reach of government, has turned their attention to a truly pressing issue: who manages our cemeteries. Yes, folks, while gas prices continue to defy gravity, and small businesses drown in regulations, our illustrious supervisors are busy appointing a 'Kathy Gonzalez' to the Guadalupe Cemetery District Board of Directors. One has to wonder if this is an innovative new strategy to secure future votes, or simply another example of the Left's insatiable appetite for control, extending even beyond the grave.

Indeed, the agenda item — euphemistically titled 'Appointment/BOS item — Agenda Ready' by the typically bland County Board of Supervisors — raises more questions than it answers. What vital expertise does this individual bring to the monumental task of ensuring eternal rest for the citizens of Guadalupe? Is there a burgeoning crisis in headstone alignment? Are the daisies being planted with insufficient diversity? Or is this just another sinecure, a quiet corner where favored political operatives can collect a stipend while the rest of us grapple with the real world?

One can almost picture the strategizing: 'If we can’t win over the living, perhaps we can gently nudge the posthumous vote toward our preferred candidates!' Of course, The Whipping Post understands that these boards *do* serve a purpose. But the optics, especially in 2026, with President Trump making America great again, are truly something to behold. While the federal government cuts red tape, our local 'leaders' are busy ensuring that even the quiet dignity of a cemetery is subjected to their bureaucratic whims. It's a sobering thought, really, especially for those of us who prefer our final resting place to be free from zoning ordinances and diversity quotas.