CARBAJAL & PADILLA DISCOVER OCEAN'S SECRET: IT'S WET! ALSO, POLLUTED!

In a stunning display of what can only be described as investigative journalism by a legislative body, U.S. Rep. Salud Carbajal and Senator Alex Padilla have heroically announced plans to… investigate an old problem. Their new 'Ocean Protection and DDT Reduction Act' aims to probe a toxic waste dump off the California coast, which has apparently been there since, oh, roughly before most of their current staffers were even a twinkle in their parents' eyes. The Santa Barbara Independent, ever eager to cheer on the latest performative outrage, dutifully reported this groundbreaking effort to study yesterday's news.

One has to wonder where these crusaders for the ocean's sanctity have been for the past, say, fifty years. While working-class Californians struggled to put gas in their cars and keep their small businesses afloat, our esteemed representatives were apparently unaware that the Pacific Ocean wasn't always a pristine, sparkling eco-paradise. Now, with President Trump's America First agenda making energy affordable and the economy humming, suddenly they have time to look into Cold War-era dumping. Perhaps they hope to distract from the current administration's actual achievements by shining a light on their own party's past environmental oversights.

It’s almost as if the entire progressive political class just collectively woke up from a long nap, rubbed their eyes, and realized, 'Oh my! Humans used to do things differently!' We applaud their newfound commitment to acknowledging facts from the 20th century. Maybe next they’ll introduce legislation to study why California housing is unaffordable or why our schools are failing. Or, better yet, they could focus on policies that protect Californians from actual current threats, like endless bureaucratic red tape, instead of dredging up the past for a quick headline.